It has been a while since I last wrote, and a lot has happened since then. Changes, developments, surprises. First things first: the barn does have a roof now. A capable crew got it up within a good 4 weeks or so. We have already used the workshop barn for a workshop and a gathering, more events are to follow as we are using the structure (no windows nor doors) as a pop-up location. Our finances did not allow for much more than the roof, so we did two things:
- We started a crowdfunding campaign in June – this was successful, and it yielded enough money to pay for the electrician and a couple of other bits and bobs which are the next step. Work will commence in a couple of days’ time.
- We applied for regional EU funding – it will, if we get it, alleviate the financial burden by 65-80% of the net costs. That is massive and would mean that we can open in March 2024.
Publicity as a welcome side-effect
As a side-effect of the whole story, the barn project is now also known to a much wider circle of people than would normally have been the case. It was featured in two newspaper articles (one German, one Danish – see below incl. translation), a podcast and has a nice group of followers online as I reactivated my Insta channel. Had all gone smoothly, I would have built a neat and stylish place first and only THEN, when everything would have been ship-shape, I would have advertised it. But the way things were back in March, I needed to start way before I was “ready”. I called out for help, I shared my plans and my dream – at the risk of being ridiculed.
What is the lesson in all of this that wanted to be learned?
A coach asked me back in June: “Assume that a part of you has deliberately created this situation – what lesson would that part of you want to teach you with it? What’s in this to learn for you?” This thought that part of me has created this mess on purpose, seemed completely absurd at first. How could I possibly have wanted this fuckup to happen? This defeat? But after a while it sunk in. Well yes, there was and is a lot to learn here: First of all, I learned to accept my weakness and the fact that I need help. I quickly understood that this is a situation that noone, not even Sonja, can turn around all alone. Then I learned how to ask for help (something I had not done in a while) and, even more importantly, I learned how to to accept offers, accept gifts – and that was even more difficult in a way. I needed to soften. A big lesson was also to listen to the voices of wisdom and intuition around me and inside me more. Moreover, I have also learned to set boundaries and to put my own needs first, even if that irritates those who know me as very giving.
Control is an illusion, anyway
And of course, the noble art of how to persevere and “let go” at the same time. I continue to follow my calling and create my dream, but I have let go of wanting to control it. Plan A) sees the barn opening in March, plan B) in late autumn of 2024 and plan C) yet another year or so later. It will be grand – no matter when. I trust that things will fall into place if I let them.
Inviting new people into my life
The past couple of months have brought new people into my life, new allies and supporters, friends, and colleagues. People who are drawn to me because they love my energy, they identify with my plans and share my values, my purpose and vision. They trust me and believe in me. This same time last year, I was hoping to eventually build up my business here up north. Now it has happened, and it is unfolding beautifully. New exciting clients from university to politics to IT, new connections, new opportunities for partnering up with like-minded people.
I create spaces in which wonderful things can happen.
I am learning to uncover that the combination of skills that I have and what I am able do with them is a lot rarer and more precious than I thought. One example: I went for a “walk of reflection” with a colleague the other day. These are conversations during which I help my counterpart gain a new perspective on a topic. The next day this colleague – she is a coach and trainer herself – came back to me saying that it feels like an old knot has finally become undone thanks to my work and a new door has opened. She cried tears of joy and is now beginning a new chapter with confidence and faith in herself. That was the effect of only one hour.
I am more in my power now than ever before
During the last two workshops I facilitated, I felt that I was fully in my power and out of that, I brought about a wonderful combination of playfulness and candor, depth and lightness at the same time. When I am at my best, it feels like I am “dancing” through my work and it gives me so much energy and joy. The feedbacks from the clients echoed that and confirm that I create spaces in which wonderful things can happen: New perspectives opening up, novel ideas, breakthroughs, katharsis, aha-effects, solutions to wicked problems.
Do you believe in “spiritual stuff”?
For what it’s worth: My spirit animal, I learned in a shamanic dream journey a couple of years ago, is a phoenix. The bird that rises from the ashes. Watching me now if it is with me, I guess my phoenix is smiling contently and puffing up its chest – this rollercoaster I’ve been through since March – it doesn’t get much more phoenix-like.
P.S.: I don’t want to sound cocky 😅All this does of course not mean, that everything is always a total breeze for me. Of course, I do struggle sometimes, I still do have chores I don’t like, and I sometimes am hit by setbacks and losses. I do feel pain and sorrow, and I still tend to put too much onto my plate. It’s a lifelong journey…
Bye-bye, hamsterwheel! 